The First Post ...

The first post is always awkward. What do I say? Where do I start?

I guess I should start by saying this is really a blog for me. Maybe the information I share will be of help to someone else out there struggling to take control of their health but really, I just want to document what I'm doing and have a place to go to for encouragement when I need it. A resource that can store my stats, the recipes I decide are worth keeping, information that I'll want to refer back to, that kind of thing.

I'm a Type 2 Diabetic and honestly know what I need to do in order to reverse this disease before it gets the better of me. I'm really tired of telling myself that "tomorrow" I'm going to get serious and really stick to a low-carb, Keto diet and then not following through. I know I should be exercising. I'm tired of clothes getting tighter instead of looser and my cupboards being filled with the "I-should- not-be-eating-this" stuff that I go ahead and eat anyway.

I often wonder what's wrong with me. Why can't I stick to a plan knowing it's going to give me the health and wellness I desperately want? Seriously, this topic consumes me. What will it take to get myself to stop eating all the whites (sugar, flour, potatoes, rice, pasta) that I know someone with my health issues should consider to be poison. Would I stop eating this stuff if I knew it would cause a terrible stomachache? What if I knew that just one more cookie was going to put me over the edge and cause a debilitating stroke? Would that be enough to make me stop?

I've read testimony after testimony from people on the Keto forums who have lost tons of weight, their A1c levels are back to normal, their bodies are free of inflammation and they are able to run around like they did when they were teenagers, without an ache or pain. They say their energy is through the roof and their mind is finally clear of brain fog. How are they able to do it, to stick to the PHD (Proper Human Diet) that Dr. Ken Berry puts forth as the cure-all for Diabetes and just about everything else that goes along with aging and poor eating? What makes it possible for others to succeed when I seem unable to even get through a day without caving to the lure of the white stuff?

I honestly think it might be a matter of mindset. I remember trying over and over to quit smoking and then, once I was truly ready, when it finally got to the point where I wanted to quit smoking more than I wanted to smoke, I was able to put down my cigarettes and walk away. For good. No looking back. No question about whether I was going to return to that awful habit. I was simply done. DONE.  Maybe I just need to get to the point where I have that same desire when it comes to my health. But if that's what it takes, how do I get there?

To be honest, I think I'm close. I've been fighting this battle for years now and my body is screaming ENOUGH. I know I'm not going to win this war if I don't make changes and stick with them. Yes, it makes me angry that I can't eat the way others do, without the consequences of soaring glucose levels that are ravaging my blood vessels, making my eyes blurry, fogging my brain, and damaging my kidneys and liver. I certainly suffer from the "Why me?" blues and am prone to feeling sorry for myself. But what if I could just decide that it is what it is, that I need to conduct my life differently if I even want to have a life? What if I decided that I'd rather be healthy than eat that damn cookie or gobble up a side of mashed potatoes? What if I chose ME over sugar.

I think the place to start is with my mindset. Training myself to say "NO! Why would you even think of putting that in your mouth?" Asking myself if I would consider popping a cyanide pill in my mouth just because it might taste good ... knowing full well the answer would be "Of course not!" Convincing myself to view sugar and all the whites as poison.

I know about the power of the mind and I know that there's a whole lot of negative programming that I've been running since childhood that is doing its best to protect me from whatever I perceived way back then to be a threat. It's time to do some personal growth work -- Tapping and reprogramming my subconscious mind -- to help in that area. But I also think there's a lot of conscious mind work that needs to take place if I'm ever going to change. For instance, not keeping foods that I shouldn't eat in the house. Not going to restaurants knowing that I'll have to fight the temptation to order pizza, french fries, or a burger with a bun. Sticking to my guns when I'm shopping and not falling for the "just one donut won't hurt" line that my inner voice insists on whispering. And definitely not feeling guilty or ashamed about not having foods that others enjoy but that aren't healthy for me in my own house when I have company. And then there's the mindset that believes what makes others happy is more important than my own well-being - I'm talking feeling the need to eat a piece of birthday cake when I'm at a party or being a sidekick to a friend's desire to indulge in an ice cream sundae for dessert when she's had a bad day.

I believe that knowing these are my pitfalls, my struggle points, and affirming that my health is more important than any of these things is going to be the key to my success.

This is the beginning of my journey. I have to start somewhere and there is no time like the present, especially when I know that someday I'll look back and be thankful that I chose to do this for myself, that I put ME first.

There's a saying that goes something like this -- Do something today that your future self will thank you for. So today that something is this - I'm giving up sugar.